How to Turn a Girl On

how to make a girl want to have sex

“Well, it was nice meeting you!”

Seriously…again?! Why does every interaction with a girl end with a platonic goodbye?

Does it ever feel like every girl you talk to just wants to be your friend?  Or maybe she finds ways to politely excuses herself from the conversation?

Then you see your friend who is naturally good with women, and it seems like he knows exactly how to make a girl want to have sex with him…

However, there are certain ways you can increase your chances of arousing a girl and getting her into you.  In fact, if you know how to make a girl horny, you will increase your success with women, leading to a more active sex life and quality of life in general.

Overall, girls are turned on through teasing.  The more you’re able to hold tension while interacting with a girl, the more you will sexually arouse her.

Here are some specific ways you can arouse a girl:

  1. Stimulate her emotions
  2. Proximity
  3. Tease
  4. Letting her chase

Stimulate her emotions

A girl can be stimulated through spiking her emotions.  In other words, if you provide a range of emotions for the girl to experience, from anger and jealousy to happiness and fun, then she will be in a more stimulated state.  The increase in stimulation can translate into arousal and sex drive in the long run.  This is why make-up sex is so passionate.

Also, imagine watching a movie where all of the characters interact politely for 2 hours and there is no tension or conflict in the plotline whatsoever.  Would you find that film stimulating or engaging?

Therefore, you must allow the girl to experience a range of emotions.

How do you do this?

By pushing the girl away verbally through breaking rapport and push/pull.


The verbal ways of arousing a girl and creating sexual tension in the interaction are breaking rapport and push/pull.

Basically, breaking rapport is any comment or behavior that is an attempt to differentiate yourself from the general population.  A break in rapport takes someone by surprise and is essentially a pattern interrupt.

For example, let’s say a girl says that she’s from New York.  If you respond by saying, “Oh that’s cool, New York is a cool city” this is playing into the expected pattern of behavior.  If, however, you respond by saying, “Fuck New York!” then this will be an unexpected response and will create some tension in the conversation.  This is a break in rapport.

Another specific subtle way of breaking rapport is by a technique called “push-pull.”  In essence, a “push-pull” is either 1) a compliment that has an element of reluctance or edge to it, or 2) it’s a seemingly insulting comment that is framed as a compliment.

An example of (1) is “you’re actually way cooler than I thought you would be.”  This is a compliment talking about how cool the girl is, but by including the phrase commenting on your expectation of her possibly not being cool, you introduce an element of hesitancy.  Thus, the girl will most likely respond by saying, “wait, what did you think I would be like?  You didn’t think I’d be cool?”

Hence, the girl will not know whether you actually like her or not, thereby giving rise to some tension in the interaction.

An example of (2) is “wow, your nose is like a little kitten, that’s so cute.”  She could take the comparison to an animal as an insult, but because you bracket the comment with “that’s so cute,” it appears to be a compliment.

In both cases, the girl is left wondering whether you actually like her or not.  Ultimately, these teases introduce tension into the interaction, leading to arousal in the long-term.


If you ask guys how to turn a girl on, the most obvious first answer is “touch her.”  Most guys think that by being more physically aggressive with a girl, they will turn her on more.


There are so many guys in a nightclub who manhandle a girl in the hopes that she will be so aroused that she will want to take him home immediately.

In some situations, this does work, but typically only when the girl is drunk or has been stimulated emotionally prior to the interaction.

What actually turns a girl on is the anticipation of physicality, not the physicality itself.

When a girl expects you to kiss her, you can pull back just slightly and tease her.  This will gradually drive her wild.

Likewise, if a girl expects you to touch her in the club, then by standing closer to her and withholding your touch, you will increase the sexual tension in the interaction.

Sexual tension transubstantiates into attraction and arousal.


Letting her chase you

A final factor to consider that most guys neglect is to allow the girl some space to chase you.

If you continue to push the interaction the entire time and are clearly showing your intent the whole way through, the girl will begin to lose interest because you’ve killed any possibility for intrigue.  If a girl clearly knows that you want her, then she won’t feel any need to pursue you.

Consequently, if you keep making out with her in the club or touching her excessively, she won’t feel the need to continue talking to you or to ever see you again when the night ends.

As a general rule, if you’ve already kissed her or touched her in a certain way, refrain from doing that until after she’s gone home with you.  Making out in the club excessively is tacky anyway.

Overall, the key to turning a girl on is to increase sexual tension through teasing.  Most guys tend to show all of their intent up front.  If you show all of your intent immediately, then you’ve released all of the tension, she knows she has you, and she’ll quickly lose interest.

Once you’ve taken her home, you shouldn’t be the one constantly pushing the interaction, but, rather, the girl should be the one wanting you.  If she’s not craving your touch by the end of the night, then either you haven’t conveyed any sexuality during the interaction or you’ve validated all of her sexual needs already.

So, don’t make the mistake of trying to touch the girl more or trying to constantly talk sexually while in the nightclub.  Instead, remember to stimulate her emotions and to tease her verbally and physically, and allow her to chase.  Then she’ll be craving you by the end of the night.

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