How to Pick Up Girls at a Club

how to pick up girls at a club

You can feel the bass pulsating through your body as flashing neon lights ignite the dark corners of the crowded, humid arena of intoxicated dancing.

Your pulse quickens as a flock of beautiful girls in their cocktail dresses galant quickly towards the bar.

Men in their button down shirts try to roll up to the bar smoothly and impressively in an attempt to find a single night of romance amidst the chaos.

Girls come to defend their friends and try to fend the predatory men off.

“We’re having a girl’s night.”

“We’re just getting a drink.”

“She’s not interested.”

“We have to go to the bathroom.”

“It was nice to meet you!”

But then one of the guys catches your eye: he looks plainly dressed, coolly composed, yet he has beautiful women at a table clamoring over him.

He doesn’t seem to be doing anything too spectacular, yet he emanates a playful, easygoing vibe that exudes groundedness.

Then he takes one of the girls by the hands and leads her away towards the exit.

For nearly every guy at a nightclub, this is the dream; a beautiful girl falls for you and you’re able to share an unforgettable night of passion.

Sometimes it seems impossible, yet there are some guys who seem to be unconsciously competent experts–they show up to the club, and, before you know it, they have a gorgeous girl making out with him, just waiting to be taken home.

For a while, I was mystified by how guys like this operated. They seemed to socialize with ease, and they would inevitably end the night walking out of the club arm-in-arm with a girl.

In fact, I was a virgin until the age of 23. Growing up, I was awkward and had only kissed one girl by the time I graduated from college.

Then I decided to get a handle on my love life. I had always thought that attraction was an intrinsic quality based primarily on looks and talents and was largely uncontrollable. I didn’t think you could improve how attractive you are to women unless you sculpted your abs into a six pack or underwent plastic surgery.

Then I had a roommate who revolutionized my worldview of the way attraction works. He showed me that women are attracted to the way guys behave and their social savvy. Consequently, I realized that if I improve my social skills, I would be able to become attractive to girls.

I moved to Vegas, and, over the course of three years, went out to nightclubs consistently 5-7 nights weekly and learned the ins-and-outs of how to attract women.

I went from losing my virginity to getting laid regularly, with sometimes up to 4 girls in a week.

Other guys wanted to know what I was doing. I began to teach them what I had learned and ultimately constructed a simple 5-step system of how to pull girls that even a guy who is completely inexperienced can learn.

Once I began to teach this system, guys quickly began seeing results and would often take a girl home the same night that I taught them.

In order to implement this system, it helps to know the signs a girl is interested. Make sure to check out that article to fully understand the process I’m about to present below.

I figured out that the most important things to consider when interacting with a girl at the club are your subcommunication, physicality, and logistical escalation. Basically, you need to be calibrated in the way you touch a girl in the club and you need to eventually make a move towards the exit.

Here are the 5 steps of how to pull a girl from a club:

    1. Open
    2. Hook
    3. Move
    4. Kiss
    5. Pull


A lot of guys get hung up on the very first step. They see a beautiful girl, yet they freeze up when they think about talking to her. Here is the key: don’t hesitate, just take action immediately.

“What do you say?” you might ask. Honestly, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is the place it’s coming from.

Do you come across as a guy who has an agenda, like some dude who is trying to get laid that night? Or are you truly enjoying yourself, having fun, and socializing for the sake of it? The key is to strike a balance.

If you’re someone who is just trying to get laid, a girl will immediately sense it and her friends will quickly come to her defense and send you on your way.

If you’re someone who is truly having fun, then, most likely, the group you are talking to will enjoy your vibe and will want to spend time with you.

Just remember that even if you are having fun, that does not guarantee that everyone will be receptive.

Alternatively, if you approach a group in an entertaining way and they are receptive to your approach, a girl will usually be attracted to your fun vibe. However, if you never show any sort of intent or pay any attention to the girl, then she will eventually lose interest.

Thus, you need to ideally balance your social and entertaining side with actually making a move to attain the right balance for attraction.

When you start a conversation, you want to go in with the intention of having fun and enjoying the experience without needing or expecting anything from the people you approach. After all, YOU are the one who approached them, not vice versa.

To go into an interaction without seeking a reaction from a person is called outcome independence.

How do you cultivate outcome independence?

The key is to become as present as possible by warming up properly. A couple of effective ways to warm-up and put yourself into a social mood are 1) the Eagle Warmup and 2) the congruence drill.

The Eagle Warmup

Start by approaching couples and groups where the girl isn’t available.


The purpose of this drill is to 1) get the most anxiety-inducing interaction out of the way first which will reduce your anxiety for the subsequent interactions, and 2) foster outcome independence.

Why does this drill facilitate outcome independence?

Because your brain sees that you’re not going to hook up with a girl that’s with her boyfriend, and you’ll subconsciously release from the outcome of taking the girl home.

Instead, you’ll socialize just for the sake of socializing, which is pure outcome independence. You’ll often find that when this happens, everyone you are talking to becomes engaged in what you’re saying.

The Congruence Drill

Just walk up to whomever you want to approach and don’t have anything to say prepared. Just say the first thing that springs into your mind. If you don’t think of anything, then don’t say anything. Stand there and focus on your breathing and the way you feel.

The key is to reduce your anxiety so that ideas and words flow easier. The first interaction might be terrible, but each one after that will likely become better and better. Eventually, you’ll become completely present and your words and behavior will flow naturally.


If you’re able to reach a flow state of outcome independence and you’re talking to enough people, at least one girl with find you engaging. That’s all you need to work with.

Once you’ve hooked a girl, she will square up her hips to you. People naturally square up their hips towards whatever person or object has their attention in that moment.

As soon as she squares up her hips towards you, make a move.

She’s interested in you, so it’s your responsibility to lead it forward.


The way you move a girl depends on essentially two different situations: when she is alone and when she is with her friends.

If she is alone…

Then you want to lead her physically first. This doesn’t mean grab her aggressively. You can try holding her hand, taking her by the arm, or simply tell her to follow you, and walk towards where you want to go.

The most important thing is not to be ashamed of making the move. If you decide to take her somewhere, then fully embrace it, be decisive, and be confident in your action.

If she refuses to go with you, then make it easier on her. Let her know where you’re going and how long you’re going to be gone for. Then keep moving forward.

If she still refuses to go with you, then just say something to the effect of “Ok no problem, we can just hang out here.” Don’t make it a big deal, just keep hanging out as you were. No need to force it.

If she is in a group…

First I want you to imagine that you are out with your friends at the club, and, suddenly, a guy comes up to one of your female friends and starts to talk to her.

He seems friendly enough, but, over time, he only is talking to her while ignoring everyone else. Then he takes her by the hand and starts leading her away.

Where is he going? Who is this guy? Where is he taking her?

Concerned thoughts run through your head. Not only did the guy tell anyone where he was taking your friend, but he didn’t even introduce himself.

Of course this scenario would naturally raise concern for you, yet most guys will do this when they are trying to take a girl somewhere.

Thus, the solution is simple: before taking the girl anywhere, let one of her friends know where you’re going and introduce yourself.

It seems like common sense, but 80-90% of guys will fail to do this.

About 75-80% of the time, the friend will most likely be fine with it. However, in the event that the friend refuses to let her go with you, you can also invite her friends along too.

For example, let’s say that you want to take the girl to the dancefloor. The friend refuses, but you can just ask, “do you guys want to come too?” Sometimes they will join you.

Even if they don’t, they now see that you’re a considerate guy who isn’t just trying to take the girl home. Instead, you’re just having a good time, and you want to make sure everyone else is too.

If you can’t get the girl to move from her group, don’t get frustrated.

This will happen.

Instead, remain calm and collected, and just tell her, “Ok, cool, no problem. We can just hang out here.” Then try again at a later time, and ideally change the premise of where you were going to take her.

Basically, don’t just keep trying to take her to the dancefloor over and over. You can take her to the bar or to go meet your friends instead. Listen to her and act accordingly.


When you have some private alone time with her, gauge to see if she wants to kiss you.

First, be aware of her proximity to you. If she is standing or sitting close to you to the point where she is or is nearly touching you, then she is probably aroused.

If she isn’t close to you, then stand or sit as close to her as possible until she backs away, then back away slightly yourself.

Talk close to her face. Look at her lips. If she doesn’t pull back, then kiss her immediately. It’s that simple.

When you are on the dance floor, if her cheek is touching yours while dancing, then kiss her.


Immediately following the kiss (literally immediately!), take her hand and start walking for the exit. It doesn’t matter what time it is, how long you’ve been talking to her, where everyone else is; just simply start walking.

There is no need to build up the place you are headed to. Think about the way George Clooney or Brad Pitt would take a girl home. Would they feel the need to explain in painstaking detail how amazing of a place they have? Would they have to qualify themselves to the girl at all? No. They would simply just have to say, “let’s get out of here.”

You might say, “but they’re most attractive celebrities in the world who can feed countries with their net worth.” That’s true. And that’s exactly why you should model their behavior.

If you mimic they’re entitled behavior that exudes value, then the girl will inherently think that you’re a high value person. Remember that she is observing the way you behave and the things that you say (or don’t say), not just your physical appearance.

Therefore, you should just continue the conversation as normal and continue walking unless she stops.

What if she stops?

Then, just as before, clarify where you’re going and how long you’re going to be gone for. The key is to be shameless about it. She’s looking more at how composed and confident you are in your decision rather than the actual content of what you’re saying.

Let her know that you’re going to be right back and that you’re just going outside. Don’t overexplain yourself or say more than necessary.

I usually let her know that we have to be back soon because my friends are in the venue too so I’ll have to come back for them anyway. Then I’ll make sure that she has her stamp so that we can reenter the venue.

If she says, “I can’t leave my friends,” have her text her friends to let them know where she’s going and that she’s safe and will be back.

In the event that she wants to go back to see her friends, go with her to find her friends, and let them know yourself about the situation.

You can even give them your number if they need to reach you. The more accommodating you are towards her friends, the safer her and her friends will feel around you.

What happens once you leave the club?

Once you’ve left the club, just take the most direct route to your bedroom. There is no reason to stop at a restaurant or another bar, unless she refuses to leave the area with you. Most likely, if she’s left the club with you, then she’ll go home with you. However, if she doesn’t, then find a place outside where you can talk a bit and perhaps grab a drink, then try again later when she’s ready.

But always remember, always go for the biggest pull first. This means that once you’ve left the club, go to either the taxi, Uber, or your car and head straight home.

Although this is quite a bit of information and there are a lot of caveats within each step, if you just remember the simple 5 step structure, then you will consistently be able to pick up girls at a club.

Once I started implementing this method and teaching it to other guys, the results were astonishing. I went from a late-blooming virgin who was clueless when it came to girls to a club casanova who pulls multiple girls home per week.

Internalize each of these steps and soon you’ll be pulling from the club consistently.

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