Best Questions to Ask a Girl

10 best questions to ask a girl

8:00am: You are at your local coffee shop grabbing a morning brew on the way to work.

“I’ll take a small cafe americano please,” you say warmly to the barista.

“Coming right up.”

You head over to pick up your coffee where everyone is expectantly awaiting their orders before going about their day. Then, suddenly, a familiar voice addresses you:


Your gaze locks with a pair of beautiful hazel eyes. It’s her again.

As you hear her voice, your heart skips a beat…

“Good morning. How are you?”

“I’m doing well, and yourself?”

“I’m fine, thank you.”

Then the brief exchange falls precipitously silent, and tension begins to mount.

Beyond a few simple pleasantries, your conversation with her never really progresses beyond superficial small talk.

You pretend to play on your phone and act busy as a few minutes pass.

“Small cafe americano!”

“Yes, thank you.” You quickly grab your coffee, and turn for the exit.

Why do I always freeze up when she talks to me? Why do I always get so nervous? Why can’t I just get to know her?

If you’ve ever had a crush on a girl, you’ve probably experienced this too. Your blood pressure rises as your ideal girl is in your vicinity. Your anxiety prevents you from getting to know the girl of your dreams, and it frustrates you.

In this article, we’ll uncover how to better get to know the girl of your dreams.

We’ll cover a wide variety of questions types, from dirty and sexual questions to ask a girl to funny and flirty questions to ask a girl.

Although you can start with some interview questions, the spectrum of different question types will add a dimension to the conversation that will create a mysterious, sexual, and fun persona that will help you attract and get to know your ideal girl.

deep questions to ask a girl

So what are the best questions to ask a girl?

Let’s discuss the layers of questions you can ask in order to intimately get to know a girl quickly, to the point where she feels a deep connection with you and is profoundly aroused by you in the span of a single night.

How to come up with questions

When you first start a conversation with a girl and you’re trying to get to know each other, questions are often necessary. However, it doesn’t necessarily have to be the standard “where are you from?”/”what do you do for a living?” interview questions. Instead, it’s best to first know what kind of girl you are looking for.

Do you know your ideal girl? When is the last time you really thought about what qualities your ideal girl would possess? Not just physically, but also in terms of personality and life experience.

What value would she add to your life? If you don’t have a clear idea of who you are, what you can bring to the table, and what kind of girl you are looking for, then you will most likely run out of things to talk about and she will walk away mid-conversation.

So before we proceed, I want you to list at least 5 non-physical attributes of your dream girl. As an example, here is my list:

  1. Open-minded and adventurous: a girl who is willing to take risks in life and not settle in a comfort bubble.
  2. Positive outlook on life: I can’t stand a girl who worries about petty things. If she can see the bigger picture and stay positive beyond minor inconveniences, then I will enjoy spending time around her.
  3. Gratitude and humility: If a girl ever asks me to buy her a drink when I first meet her, then I will immediately walk away and tell her to have a nice night. On the other hand, if a girl offers to pay on a date or pay for her drink, then I will reciprocate her gratitude to the utmost. The more entitled and arrogant the girl is, the more turned off I am.
  4. Intelligent and witty: I have a dry sense of humor where I make a lot of sarcastic remarks. If a girl understands my humor, then I’m attracted. If she is able to dish it back, then I’m hooked.
  5. Honesty and independence: If a girl is brutally honest about things and is willing to say anything on her mind, then I highly respect her. I hate superficial pleasantries and girls who try to be passive aggressive. I’ll play along, but they won’t be my ideal partner.
  6. Shy and introverted: This one is quite particular to me. A girl who is more shy, but once you start talking to her, you see that she’s quite observant, intelligent, and witty, then I am massively attracted to her.

With each of these attributes, I have a line of questioning associated with each one. If you have 2 questions for each attribute, then you immediately have 10 questions to ask a girl:

    1. Open-minded and adventurous: Where have you travelled to? What do you want to do in life? What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

      For these questions, I care more about the way she responds than the answer itself. For example, if she has never travelled out of the country before, but really wants to and is enthusiastic about the prospect of new adventures, then I highly respect that girl. However, if a girl has no desire to experience new things or to travel to new places, then she is not the girl for me.

    2. Positive outlook on life: What has been the biggest struggle or challenge in your life?

      Similar to the first question, I gauge to see how she answers this question. If she describes her challenge and begins to gripe and bitch for a good length of time about how difficult her life is and is clearly seeking a pity party, then I’m more than willing to walk away. If, however, she talks about how she’s grown from her past struggles, then she’s won more respect in my eyes.

    3. Gratitude and humility: What is the thing that you value most in life?

      Generally, if the girl’s answer is some luxury good, she chooses it for its prestige and price rather than sentiment (e.g. it was her grandmother’s watch that has been passed down through her family), then I typically won’t get along with that girl. I have a hard time relating to girls who are purely superficial and idolize the Kardashians. Instead, a girl who values something more thoughtful and meaningful, like family or freedom, I will tend to have a higher respect and attraction towards. I make exceptions if the girl is clearly joking in her superficial response.

    4. Intelligent and witty: What was the last book you read? Who’s your favorite comedian?

      I can typically gauge her interests and how much she values intelligence by what she reads. Also, her taste in comedy and entertainment comedians tells me a lot about her sense of humor.

      But usually, I’ll make a bunch of sarcastic remarks and see how the girl reacts.

    5. Honesty and independence: I’ll ask her a challenging question, like “have you ever had a threesome before?” “how old are you?” or “when did you lose your virginity?”

      The way she answers these questions more than the answer itself tells me about her personality. Is she dramatic, emotionally reactive, and takes offense easily?

      Girls who are insecure will tend to crumble under the pressure of these questions, but girls who are more independent are confident will answer these questions with a vibe of pure, flowing honesty.

    6. Shy and introverted: Do you know your Myers Briggs personality type? If so, what is it? I’m quite well-versed in Myers Briggs typology and personality psychology, so this question is suited for me. But, typically, I get along with INxx types the most.

By having a clear idea of what your values are and what you’re looking for, you’ll immediately stand out from the average guy.

interesting questions to ask a girl


Well, when two people are getting to know each other, there is a “buyer” and a “seller.” Almost always, the person who approached first is the seller.

This might seem counterintuitive, but when a person approaches a stranger for the first time, the approacher is investing significantly more to get the interaction started.

Thus, if a man approaches a woman at the bar, he is selling himself to the woman: that is, he is the one trying to win the woman’s attention and attraction. Anytime a man is trying to prove himself or impress the woman, he is “qualifying” himself to her. Therefore, the seller is trying to qualify himself to the buyer.

This is akin to a job interview where the employer is the buyer and the prospective employee is the seller. The prospect hands over a resume containing his or her qualifications and tries to convince the employer that he or she is qualified for the job.

Nevertheless, if you are the one qualifying her in the interaction, then suddenly you become the buyer and she is the seller.

Once she tries to prove herself to you and win over your attention, then she likes you.

Also, be aware that qualification can be incredibly subtle. You might mention that you graduated from UCLA, and she might say, “Oh, I went to college in California too.”

She is volunteering this information without having to, and she is also suggesting that she is well-educated has shares commonalities with you. This is a definite sign that she is at least interested in you.

More overt signs of qualification would be if she tries to impress you: “I actually went to UC Berkeley. It’s a pretty decent school, and I had to work pretty hard in high school to get in.” Here, the girl would clearly be trying to impress you. The more a girl qualifies to you, the more she cares about what you think about her.

best questions to ask a girl

So how can you elicit qualification?

Be the buyer.

And you do this by knowing exactly what you want for your ideal partner. Most importantly, you must be willing to walk away from her if she does not live up to your standards. Don’t just settle.

If she senses that you are willing to assert yourself when she does not live up to your standards, she will sense that you are truly a man with purpose, who knows exactly what he wants and goes after it shamelessly.

Furthermore, as a result of knowing who you are and what you value, you will find that you will be much more calm and assertive when talking to people. You will be looking past beauty and appearances and really strike the core of who people actually are, and, in turn, the most attractive girls and highest value people will appreciate that the most.

The more a girl is praised for her beauty, the more she is surrounded by inauthenticity. Hot, gorgeous women are constantly bombarded with compliments and guys trying to “be nice” to them in the hopes of hooking up.

Ultimately, once you delineate your standards and ask her questions that are meaningful to you, you will immediately differentiate yourself from every other guy who is attempting to hit on her.

good questions to ask a girl

Overall, with these questions, you will get to know a girl quickly and see whether she’s a good match for you.

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